The Intercom
by Mandalore the Freedom
Summary: When Tali and Shepard are making love in their cabin, they by mistake, hit the intercom. How will the crew react to this?...
1. Chapter 1

**A\N: Yeah, I had this idea for a while and I just had to get off my chest. Hope you guys enjoy.**

I don't own Mass Effect or it's characters.

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"Oh Keelah Shepard! Harder! Faster!" Screamed Tali as she was fucked hard from behind by Shepard on the desk, her ass rippling from the impacts. Shepard squeezed Tali's breasts as he starts picking up the pace. They were currently in the cabin, they had just came from a long mission from Shadow Broker, and Tali and Shepard decide blow off some steam. Good thing Tali bought some anti biotics.

"Oh god Tali! your so tight!" Cried Shepard as he leans in Tali's neck, nibbling it. However as Tali was being push forward by Shepard, she by mistaken, hits the intercom, now everyone hearing what their doing.

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Crew Deck

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"Oh my god! why are we hearing this?!" Screamed Kelly as she and many others began blush as they can hear Tali and Shepard's love making. Kasumi puts her fingers in her ears, trying block the noise out, but failing, "dear lord, just what we need, hearing those two going at it like rabbits!" Said Kasumi, still trying block out the noise.

Samara sitting on the table, simply raises her brow, or whatever, at the noise, "...I did not think that Human men were that big?" Her question gotten odd looks from everyone. Garrus in his room, was trying block the noise with his pillows. "OH COME ON! YOU TWO DON'T NEED TO GO ROUND 6!" Garrus yelled, trying keep his mind clear from the eh..love making. Legion looked up at the intercom, looking confused, "how is it that Shepard's body been able go that long? he should not been able to do that?"

Dr. Chakwas from her office, leans back in her chair, and sighs. "Ah, young love, Tali is one luckily woman right now." She then pauses, "...though I wish they didn't let us know of it, my old heart can only take so much of this."

From Miranda's office, she groans, and starts hitting her forehead on her desk, "Oh why me! why can't I have taken that shore leave like Shepard offer?!" Miranda hits her head another time on the desk, "we should have never have his body get energy boasters."

Thane was the only one who looked calm, sitting near the table, "Hmmm, I should have bought those ear blocks I saw on the Citadel the other day."

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Deck 2

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"KEELAH! FUCK ME! FUCK ME!" Everyone at Deck was blushing at hearing what was going on, a poor woman fainted as she heard some of the things Tali was talking about Shepard's eh...equipment. Joker at his sit, looks at the intercom, both in awe and little disturbed.

"Wow...I didn't think some of that was possible." EDI showed up at soon as Joker said that, "it shouldn't be possible Joker, being able fuck a woman a long periods of time and still be able go again for the 12th time." Joker scoff at that, "easy for you to say, you're a AI, you can't do that stuff." EDI paused at that, "...maybe so, it would seem I'll have to change that, I rather not miss out on that." Joker simply lean back in his chair, "yeah...wait what?!".

In Mordin's lab, he was currently in deep thought, his finger on his chin, "Hmm, those pills I gave them must have been filled with too much of mating pheromones." Mordin then shrugs. "Oh well, it only brings more possible for studying."

Jacob in his room, currently was wearing head phones in, listing to his favorite music as he works out, so he was only one who wasn't hearing the sex going.

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Engeering area

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"GLIRK! GLIRK! GLRIK!" A rather loud slurping noise was being heard now, along with sounds like slapping hitting something...it didn't take long for people figure out what that was. "Oh my god, that lass sure can take a pounding!" Said Ken as he looks up at the intercom, a blushing Gabby whacks him on the head, "KEN!".

Grunt, who was talking to Zaeed, looks up at the intercom, confused. "What's that? are Shepard and Tali sparring?" At soon as Zaeed heard that, he falls on the ground, laughing like a mad man, "Hahaha! Yeah! You could say that! HAHAHAHA!" Grunt look on, confused as Zaeed laughed.

Jack wasn't fairing very herself, even though she's done tons of sex acts, some of the things Tali and Shepard were doing were even too much for her. "Oh my god! can't they fuck like rabbits somewhere!" Jack buried her face in her pillows, trying block out the noise.

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5 hours later

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Both Shepard and Tali step out of the elevator, looking very happy, "Oh god Tali, that was great." Tali smiled behind her mask, "Like I said, totally worth it." Both the two stopped as they see everyone, to the ground team to staff crew members, everyone on the ship, front of them, glaring at them, even Legion was glaring.

"Ehh, something wrong here?" Said Shepard, confused as to why everyone was glaring at him and Tali, Garrus steps forward, rubs his neck, his cheeks turning blue as he try's explain the situation.

"Ehh, Shepard, we uhh..heard you guys." Both Tali and Shepard looked alarmed, hoping he wasn't saying that "heard you." "What you mean, heard us?" Said Tali, crossing her arms under her chest, she gets even more confused as some of the crew looked away as her breasts were push out a little.

Garrus blushes even more, "We, all of us..heard you two..eh." Jack sighs, and stops Garrus right there, "we all heard you two fucking, fucking like rabbits on coffee!" Yelled Jack, still piss off at them.

Both Shepard and Tali jumped, looking shock. "WHAT!" They both screamed. Miranda runs her eyes, sighing, "This is gonna be a long day." Oh yeah...it was gonna be a long day of reporting this event to the Illusive man

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**A\N: That's all folks, be sure to review and tell me your thoughts. Till next time.**

**PAR KOTE BAL IJAAT BE MAND'ALOR!**


	2. Rip Freedom Guard

**A/N: Hey everyone, I am sorry to say this but this is not a update, but to let you know that a great writer, a deal friend who I knew for over 3 years, someone who helped me a great deal, pass away on August 5th. Many people know him as Freedom Guard, but his full name is ****Salvador R. ****Balleza.**

**He was one of the very first people, who helped me a great deal what it was meant to be a writer here, he gave me lot of advise, he also told me lot of his stories's ideas he had planned, fuck I remember talking to him on the 3th, I didn't even realized he had died until ****mcknight93**** had told this on author's note. If this wasn't bad enough, my cat was having a kitten today, but it turn out to be stillborn.**

**That isn't right, a newborn dying, not having experience life, that kind of stuff hits me hard, I haven't felt this sad since my grandparents pass away couple months ago, it has made me think a lot about life and death, I wonder, will I be able live long enough experience as much as my grandparents did? probably not, but it's a nice thought.**

**But anyway, if you people knew Freedom Guard as much as I and mcknight93 did, then I want you to do something in honor of him, something that speaks him in greatness, he did lot of great things here, 43 stories, that's how many he did, and those said stories, inspired many authors here in Fanfiction.**

**So go out there, if you got an idea for a story, then go ahead and do it, don't be afraid to write stories, I was once like that, but couple authors, Freedom Guard included, inspire me to write, but when I did do writing, I got lot of crap from either flamers or trolls who told me I sucked at writing or I really killed the idea.**

**It nearly broke me, but those same authors inspire me keep going, don't let others tell you otherwise. Well, in their own they said it. So don't let anyone tell you to quit you're story, just keep going, don't give up.**

**Anyway, I will hopefully one day, be able update the next chapter, good luck out there guys, I wish you best of luck, till next time.**

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**PAR KOTE BAL IJAAT BE MAND'ALOR!**


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